Acting with Power

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The Truth About Power

What It Is, What It Isn t, and Why It Matters

Power is a captivating topic. No matter who I m with ­women or men, the 1 percent or the 99 percent, nonprofit managers or business leaders, entrepreneurs, middle managers, or senior executives ­everyone cares about power, and for good reason: people in positions of power control our fates. Power attracts and repels. Power creates and destroys. Power opens doors and closes them. Power explains who goes to war, why there is peace, and what we fight about. Power dictates how we live and under what laws, who has material advantage and who doesn t. Bertrand Russell said that power is the fundamental force in human relations. As immortalized in the musical Hamilton, power determines who lives, who dies, and who tells your story.

Human interest in power has deep existential roots. Psychologists believe we care about power because we fear death, and power promises a kind of immortality. That may seem a bit heavy, but it makes evolutionary sense. Power has survival value. Power affords not just greater access to shared resources and control of our own outcomes but also greater connection to others and elevated status within the clan. Human psychology has evolved to support these evolutionary realities. With more power, we imagine, we can live longer, better lives and even live on in others hearts and minds after we are no longer physically present.

We seek power often without knowing it. And as much as we hate to admit it, power contests are everywhere, even in places where we think they don t belong. Not just at work but at home, in our marriages, with our siblings, in our friend groups, and in society more broadly, power is a central organizing force. We are dealing with power differences and negotiating power all the time, often while we think we are doing other things.

When you start to pay attention, you can see these contests everywhere. While engaged in friendly conversations

Deborah Gruenfeld is a leading social psychologist and the Joseph McDonald Chaired Professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Gruenfeld s research has been featured in many scholarly journals as well as in The Wall Street Journal, The New Yorker, O: The Oprah Magazine, The Washington Post, and the Chicago Tribune. Gruenfeld co-directs the Executive Program for Women Leaders at Stanford and sits on the boards of the LeanIn Foundation and Stanford s Center for the Advancement of Women s Leadership. She has a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Illinois.

A smart, interesting, and timely book about how to use power in everyday life and, just as important, how not to. Daniel Gilbert, Harvard psychologist and author of Stumbling on Happiness

All the world s a stage . . . and one man in his time plays many parts. Acting with Power stirs us to give our best performance as players on the corporate stage. It shows how the power we do possess can be used well, humanely, for the advancement of something more than our personal success. Deborah Gruenfeld s book directs us in the art of acquiring power by using our abilities while being our authentic selves. This book is a treasure. Tristan Walker, founder and CEO of Walker & Company Brands

Acting with Power is an entertaining and uplifting read, filled with sharp insight and practical advice. This book will change how you think about power and how you handle it and will help you see the power you may not have known you have. Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and founder of LeanIn.Org and OptionB.Org

Gruenfeld s perspective on power had a big impact on us at eBay. In her new book, she offers fresh insights on the important topic of how we deal with our own power and powerlessness. Acting with Power cuts through the clichés and shows us how power can work. John Donahoe, CEO of Nike
 
We tend to think of power as something that looks and works more or less the same in anyone who wields it. But as Deborah Gruenfeld explains in this insightful and eye-opening book, there is no one right or wrong  way to act with power. We can all learn how to adapt our performance based on the setting, the relationship dynamics, and the emotions we bring onstage with us. This brilliant book shows us how. Susan David, psychologist, Harvard Medical School, and bestselling author of Emotional Agility