What Are You Going Through

be asked about it. And it occurred to me that maybe it wasn't emotion that had made her change the subject like that but rather worry that I might later complain. Depressing host talked too much about dead cat. The sort of comment you saw on the site all the time.

 

In the kitchen, as I drank the coffee and ate from the tray of snacks the host had prepared for me (while she, in the way recommended for Airbnb hosts, made herself scarce), I studied the corkboard where she posted publicity for guests about goings-on in town. An exhibition of Japanese prints, an arts-and-crafts fair, a visiting Canadian dance company, a jazz festival, a Caribbean culture festival, a schedule for the local sports arena, a spoken-word reading. And, that night, at seven thirty, the author's talk.

 

In the photograph, he looks harsh-no, "harsh" is too harsh. Call it stern. That look that comes to many older white men at a certain age: stark-white hair, beaky nose, thin lips, piercing gaze. Like raptors. Hardly inviting. Hardly an image to say, Please, do come hear me speak. Would love to see you there! More like, Make no mistake, I know a lot more than you do. You should listen to me. Maybe then you'll know what's what.

 

A woman introduces him. The head of the department that has invited him to speak. She is a familiar type: the glam academic, the intellectual vamp. Someone at pains for it to be known that, although smart and well educated, although a feminist and a woman in a position of power, the lady is no frump, no boring nerd, no sexless harridan. And so what if she's past a certain age. The cling of the skirt, the height of the heels, the scarlet mouth and tinted hair (I once heard a salon colorist say, I believe it's got to hurt a woman's ability to think if she has gray hair), everything says: I'm still fuckable. A slimness that almost certainly means going much of each day feeling hungry. It crosses such women's minds with some sad re

here-and-now of What Are You Going Through that spears us, its chorale-like testimonies, their preemptive requiem. The Washington Post 
 
I was dazed by the novel s grace: its creation of a narrative consciousness that, by emptying and extending itself to others, insured that its vitality would never dwindle, never dim. . . . Radiant with meaning. The New Yorker
 
Sigrid Nunez is on a roll. She s tapped into a smart, wry voice which feels right for our times, as do her concerns with friendship, empathy, loss, and loneliness. . . . The marvel of this novel is that it encompasses so much sadness yet is not grim. . . . Nunez has written another deeply humane reminder of the great solace of both companionship and literature. NPR

There is no better chronicler of empathy. . . . This book is profound, devastating, and uplifting all at once. Refinery29
  
A master class in empathy and humanity . . . Told with humor and insight, What Are You Going Through is a deep look at how relationships change through hardship, and what it truly means to be there through struggles big and small. Shondaland

Nunez is unparalleled when it comes to emotional fluency, tapping into the immediacy of grief, love, and exhaustion, and translating it sparely, powerfully on the page. . . . profound exploration of empathy . . . It s painful but beautiful, too, and it will stick with you for a long time.   BuzzFeed, 21 Best New Books this Fall
 
Nunez crafts an aching look into the ways people can support one another through crisis. Time, Best Books of Fall

Richly interiorized . . . With both compassion and joy, Nunez contemplates how we survive life s certain suffering, and don t, with words and one another. Booklist (starred review)
 
Short, sharp, and quietly brutal . . . spare and elegant and immediate . . . [What Are You Going Through] is concerned with the biggest possible questions and confronts them so bluntly it is sometimes jarring: How should we live in the face of so much suffering? Dryly funny and deeply tender. Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
 
Sigrid Nunez orchestrates a beautiful chorus of humanness here, and the novel asks a question we might all be thinking in these distant times: What does it mean to really be there for someone in times of hardship?   Lit Hub
 
Much as in Rachel Cusk s recent work, the narrator is a conduit and sounding board for the stories of others. . . . Deeply empathetic without being sentimental, this novel explores women s lives, their choices, and how they support one another. . . . Highly recommended for readers who favor emotional resonance over escapism during difficult times.   Library Journal (starred review)