ADHD and Refusal (ePub)

Individuals with ADHD often struggle with social skills. They may lack social awareness, become engrossed in their own thoughts, and find it challenging to decline requests. Due to difficulties in self-management and unclear boundaries, they might find it hard to refuse, leading to a burdensome life. Inability to decline can inadvertently lead to carrying unnecessary responsibilities.

Leonardo da Vinci once said that refusing at the very beginning is the easiest. Through this book, you can discover what the simplest form of refusal is. By mastering the art of refusal, setting clear boundaries, safeguarding what's important, and nurturing healthy relationships, one can envision a life filled with richness and happiness.

Exploring various narratives on how to refuse and what to decline, I hope you aspire to become a respected and esteemed individual with ADHD.

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Refusal through Silence

There is a song called "" by Kim Kwang-jin.

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Is this the end here? Now I will turn around

I won't force myself to resist fate and agonize over connections

The words I wanted to say, the words I tried to say, I'll leave them all as they are

Perhaps even giving up on expectations, I hope you will be well

I will accept your long silence as our parting

I'll put away my worries that might hurt this heart

Oh, my beloved, even if I can't see you anymore

I'm grateful that with your presence, I've endured tough days

Meet good people, live well during your life, forget about me

I sincerely hope you find happiness

Just take this heart with you

I will accept your long silence as our parting

I'll put away my worries that might hurt this heart

Oh, my beloved, even if I can't see you anymore

I'm grateful that because you exist, I've endured challenging days

Meet good people, live well during your life, forget about me

I sincerely hope you find true happiness

Just take this heart with you

It was originally a favorite song of mine, but after learning about the background of the song, my emotions became overwhelming. Before Kim Kwang-jin rose as a singer, his girlfriend's parents disapproved of him because he was a struggling musician. They wanted her to be with a well-off man from a good family, and there was another man who met those criteria and also liked his girlfriend. Kim Kwang-jin met this man. However, he turned out to be genuinely talented and kind-hearted, and Kim Kwang-jin realized that for his girlfriend, being with this man, who had a brighter future than his uncertain one, might lead to a better life. The man who met these criteria suggested that they go abroad together for further studies, but the girlfriend chose Kim Kwang-jin because she felt that if she wasn't with him, he wouldn't be happy.

Kim Kwang-jin and his girlfriend got married, and after a considerable amount of time had passed, Kim Kwang-jin discovered a letter at home. It was a letter that the other man, the one his girlfriend had met in the past, had sent to her. The contents were so beautiful that Kim Kwang-jin turned them into a song titled "Letter." Despite having loved her himself, he respected her choice and was deeply moved by the mature and compassionate heart of the man who cared for her, soothing his own painful feelings. For a while, I felt a heavy emotion.

Thinking about how someone could gracefully say, "I sincerely hope you find true happiness. Just take this heart with you," to the woman who rejected him, I wondered how truly mature that person must be. When this person wrote the letter, they were probably in their twenties. I wondered how this person had become so mature. Even at my age, I still feel so inexperienced...