How to Leave the House (ePub)

The funniest, wildest and most original debut novel of 2024

'Gobby, barbed and garrulous' Eley Williams

'Truly original' Nicola Dinan, author of Bellies

'Genuinely hilarious' Keiran Goddard, author of Hourglass

It's Natwest's last day before he leaves for university, and there's only one thing on his mind: the deeply embarrassing package he ordered to his house - which still hasn't arrived. He won't leave town without it. Any alternative is too distressing to consider ...

This is the story of twenty-four hours in the life of NATWEST, and his small-town odyssey in pursuit of the missing package. And yet it's also the story of a MIDDLE-AGED DENTIST who dreams of being a respected artist - but the only thing he can seem to paint is the human mouth. And it's the story of a TORTURED IMAM involved in a quasi-romantic entanglement with the local vicar; and an OCTOGENARIAN mourning the death of her secretive husband; and a TROUBLED TEENAGER whose nudes have leaked on the internet. It's the story of Natwest's obnoxious EX-BOYFRIEND, and his CLASS-TRAITOR MOTHER and her CHILDHOOD BOYFRIEND, and the life-changing secrets he knows about Natwest's past.

Alternating between Natwest's idiosyncratic inner world and the perspectives of the other characters - and dazzling in its energy, imagination and originality - this is an outrageously funny and tenderly moving story about being connected to everyone and everything at all times; about love, friendship, and the lies we tell ourselves; about unhappy endings, happy endings - and whether anything really is as simple as one or the other.