Patio Time (ePub)

I never realized that when I started writing my first Patio Time that it would be what brings me healing from God.

All of us have a past. Not all of us have trust issues, but I did. I always said that if I couldn't trust my own father, how could I trust my Father in heaven. But not all of us grow from our childhood surroundings without some type of damage. I can honestly say that I used my upbringing as a crutch and an excuse for not growing. Everything I thought I was failing at, I blamed on my life as a child in West Virginia. That's how I began most of my Patio Time.

Growing up, as a child, in West Virginia, I blamed failed relationships, lack of financial gain, and listening to the wrong people. I also spent years of trying to fix everyone who had alcoholism because my father was an alcoholic and wanting to heal everyone who had cancer because I watched my mother die of that horrible disease.

When you're a child, you can't process death or addiction. I realized I was holding myself back because I could never get close to anyone. Whenever I tried, I would always push them away. Maybe because I was thinking everyone leaves.

One day, I went on my patio, sat in my rocking chair, and started writing about things that went on in my home and my small community. Patio Time is a collection of my life and circumstances in that little rural area with a lot of dysfunctions. I guess it's true: what goes on behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. But with this writing, I realized that I had all I needed, just by my surroundings and the love of the community. I often found that my solace came from playing in the mountains and creeks.

Patio Time is my perception of the lessons that I learned from every situation. I am hoping that this little collection will move the heart of others who need to realize they are exactly where they needed to be at that time. All the situations that happened to me, can clearly, and has, taught me a lesson of life. I never realized it at that time, but as an adult, I see it clearly now. My goal is for someone to read any page of my book and see their own life and be able to look back and see the beauty and how they were molded as an adult.

What my readers don't know is that I was an Italian child who was given away to a white couple in West Virginia in the fifties. Skin color was never an issue in my family but so prevalent in that era. My parents showed nothing but love to me. But a lot of burden comes with that scenario. I grew up with molestation, alcoholism, physical and emotional abuse along with bullying. But with all of that exposure, I still could find something to be thankful for in every one of those situations.

I lost both of my parents--my mother when I graduated from high school and my father shortly after.

Patio Time has been a way to express the memories that I was trying to forget. Now I'm grateful for my writings. I am hoping that my journey is a light for others.