Pearls of Wisdom (ePub)

Pearl de Sagesse de Sabaduria de Wisdom de Tout, also known as Pearl de Wisdom or ME Pearl, is an all-knowing, all-powerful squirrel deity and an internet sensation. Pearl lived for twelve years in Southern California under the care of Georgette Spelvin, known to Pearl as Pink Mama, an oddly sentimental witchy woman and licensed wildlife rehabilitator. In captivity, Pearl gained omniscience by gnawing her way through most of the Merriam-Webster English dictionary and bits of the Larousse Spanish and French and by using her seven senses to absorb vast amounts of information (the rest she makes up). The very model of a modern psychic squirrel, Pearl ascended to the heights of psychic prowess, surpassing all other animals, people, and plants. After her death, Pearl's mission became to aggrandize herself through religion, politics, social media, cult formation, charitable contributions, and syndicated advice columns, as the divine Pearl fully expects anyone who comes in contact with her to benefit beyond their wildest dreams. Using Georgette as her mouthpiece and conduit, she continues her work as a prophet online by providing sage life advice for the masses on her website MEPearl.com and through the YouTube channel MEpearlA, where she has more than 124,000 subscribers and shares videos relating to the proper care and keeping of possums and provides a wealth of life advice. Pearl and Georgette have been celebrated in a wide range of media, including New York magazine's "The Cut," Messy Nessy, BuzzFeed, Jezebel, KQED, AV Club, Oddity Central, and Comedy Central's Tosh.0. Her uncredited videos have appeared on Good Morning America, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Pearl's spirit, channeled through Georgette, resides in Astralburg, Etheria.

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