Quit Honking! (I'm Pedaling as Fast as I Can) (ePub)

Quit Honking! is a collection of quirky, whimsical short stories and essays. Carrying on where his first book, Small Portions Cafe, left off, Douglas Fergus shares his hilarious outlook on the follies and foibles of our time on planet Earth. You'll see a little bit of yourself in these refreshing, playful views of circumstances that make up everyday life.

Come along for the ride as Douglas holds an absurdist magnifying glass up to each one of us and asks: Are you running with the bulls or getting run over by the bulls? With the ever-growing pressure to keep up with society's beautiful, successful people, reading this book may give you the courage to yell out, "Quit honking! I'm pedaling as fast as I can!"

You'll meet these and other memorable characters:

• What happened when Saint Peter retired as heaven's gatekeeper and his daughter Petra took over?
• Scam artists: Born to cheat? Or legitimate career choice?
• He avoided the kooky woman with a cookie addiction until true love intervened.
• They were on their way to stardom, but the restaurant industry had other plans.
• To poison your family and friends or not ...That is the question.
• She was funnier than the perfidious comedian but fell for him anyway.

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"In a world with a plethora of turmoil and negativity, Quit Honking! is a welcome reprieve. If you don't want to feel good or be happy, don't read this book!"

- Anita McGue, world traveler, avid bicyclist, and reader

"You can't help but smile in amusement or pleasant bewilderment while reading this book. Doug Fergus takes you on a wild ride into his delightfully kooky, mischievous, and oddly relatable thoughts and imagination with PLENTY of genius wordplay!"

- Jay Jean, actor and screenwriter

"Laugh-out-loud punny! Doug's uninhibited, childlike nature and willingness to go where no writer has gone before makes for a fun ride."

-Mark Arinsberg, Citizen 44 Podcast