Sibling Therapy (PDF)

Siblings share a unique relationship: They have known each other longer than anyone else. No matter how close or distant siblings are today, they are part of each other. As adults, they actually are part of two sibling sets. The original siblings are the ones who grew up together and have changed and aged together. The second set is the creation of their childhood perceptions, feelings, hurts, and resentments, as well as idealizations about the original siblings. These siblings, like ghosts, are not visible; they never age. While these siblings mostly lie dormant, when they jump into action, they distort how adults relate to their siblings now.

The "sibling ghosts" have four components--frozen images, crystallized roles, unhealthy loyalty, and sibling transference--each of which has a unique effect on one's adult life, and all of which may be transferred onto important adults in their lives, including spouses and lovers, people at work, and friends. For therapists of all theoretical orientations, Sibling Therapy: The Ghosts from Childhood that Haunt Your Clients' Love and Work is the first book that provides a theoretical framework for working with adult siblings and will be helpful in understanding the influences of clients' ghosts, especially when dealing with intractable problems. While based in systemic theory, the book goes beyond, looking at the specific issues related to being siblings. The ideas and the numerous clinical examples presented here are applicable for family therapists, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, pastoral counselors, and anyone working in a therapeutic position, as well as masters and doctoral students in these fields