Summary of James Smith's How to Be Confident / IRB Media (ePub)

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.

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#1 Who we are is determined by how we act, but how we act can also determine who we become. We must make decisions and take action every day, and never forget that doing nothing is still a decision.

#2 No one ever told me what they wanted because they didn't even know yet. You need to clarify your true intentions. When I ask my clients what they want, they often have a very clear answer and a clear goal. 'I want to feel better' or 'I want to get stronger' or 'I want to lose weight'. But then when I dig deeper and probe them about exactly what this means to them and how exactly it has manifested in their lives up to that point, the answers often change. For example, the best way for me to describe it is that people want to feel better about themselves in the eyes of other people. This can be achieved through a physical manifestation of increased confidence, but also a psychological boost and improved self-esteem. They want their relationships with other people to be easier and more fulfilling; they want to have more meaningful interactions with their friends and family. They want to feel happier and more at peace with themselves, and to have greater control over their lives. They want long-lasting, meaningful friendships with other people who are on the same page as them, who are willing to share life's experiences and help them deal with the challenges that life throws at us.

#3 Know what you want and how to get it.

#4 You must be clear about what you want and how to get it. You must remind yourself that there are days when things aren't as easy as they seem. You must take action and do what you're not confident to do. Doing nothing should be the much more frightening outcome.