The Legend of Dan (The Dan Provocations, #1) / The Dan Provocations (ePub)

An adult bawdy romp through time, space and credibility. Not for the young or those of delicate sensibilities.
A knock on his door in the night heralds the beginning of a nightmare for the only out of work IT specialist in the country. Kara, the gorgeous woman who kidnaps him, wants to take down a mail-order company, known as the Consortium, bent on conquering the galaxy. But she is not everything she seems. After a deliberate misunderstanding of his name, Tom, Two-Dan $mith (sic) is set up as the unlikely hero for the mission, or in the mind of his captor, to become the cannon fodder.
His first task is to free a race of invertebrates, the Mucronns, and help with the spawning of a new generation and then, in search of the Consortium's source of power, Tom is rushed across time and space to a planet inhabited by the Skagans, a race of immature Viking rejects. He loses the girl he has recently saved and ties up with an ale slinger of indeterminate origin, known as the Magus.
The Skagans accidentally discover a fleet of powerful ships, left behind by their ancestors, the original conquerors of the galaxy, for when they are mature enough as a race to use them. They are so not ready, but go out to tackle everybody, anyway, including the military arm of the Consortium, that, coincidentally, Tom is trying to unravel.
The inevitable happens; Tom and the surviving Skagans are forced to flee, and he is thrown to the very end of Time itself, saving the life of the ruler on the Edge of Time, preventing an invasion from another universe, and receiving as a reward what seems to be simply a jeweled broach.
He makes his way back ,to rendezvous with the Skagans. They have one ship remaining, and go out to tackle the weakened Consortium fleet. They fail, and all seems lost, but at the last moment, they are saved by a new powerful fleet the Mucronns have built, based on Tom's initial guidance. He is treated as their creator, savior and leader, and by proxy is now the master of the galaxy.
Despite the demise of the Consortium, nothing seems to change, and Tom, reunited with his girl, who was rescued by the Skagans, finally tracks down the source. The Magus reappears, also on the same track. They are forced into a final battle with the super-intelligent being the Magus had created with a brewing kit and a lot of the wrong sort of radiation.