The Umbrella Analysis (ePub)

There is so much on the psychology of humans that it is improbable to touch on it all. We can attempt to generalize and it would do a disservice to each individual. These books in The Ant Matrix Series are about getting our minds to zero. Maybe they find it here in this book, The Umbrella Analysis. Diving deep into self-confidence, defenses, misunderstood intent, vanity, and so much more.

I was born into poverty. As were my parents before me, their parents before them, and so on. Not just poverty in the monetary sense. People who were poor in philosophy too. My father was a self-destructive, critical person, with very low self-esteem, and a drinking problem. My mother overdosed on prescription medication when I was young. Later my brothers shared of the horrible abuse she endured. Knowing my experience with my father, I know what she went through. She survived and spent the rest of her life institutionalized. I didn't see her until many years later. When I did, it was difficult to form a relationship. My father eventually remarried. Bringing along with it an extended family and a new set of confidence killing problems. I was living in the sub-level of human existence. My frustration and embarrassment were more than any child should endure. We may seem defenseless to stop that cycle of life. That is not true. I know, because I eventually did. Working hard to fill in the blanks. There are missteps in genetics, early psychological development and teachings of poor philosophy that had to be overcome. I have great admiration for those who even when faced with difficulties. There may have been reasons, but they didn't make excuses. Finding strength in virtues, values, and moral guidance. A parent's job is to develop young minds. When they fail, it complicates things. I lived a life surrounded continuously by poor decisions and addiction. I know the mental and physical torment they create. When I finally understood and focused on the right things for myself, a lot of my past didn't matter anymore. It couldn't. Excuses would have prevented the change that needed to occur. I feel for those children raised in negative environments. It doesn't teach them the basic foundation of values that provide sound thinking and instill confidence. Values that are necessary when met with challenges. That we can all have dreams. If we have a good start already, they will seem achievable. For those that don't, they will have a more complex path of uncovering what beliefs have conditioned their mind. My choices? Either a life of alcoholism or insanity. I maintained hope there was something else, that neither was my destiny. I developed a 'good enough' philosophy to end up in the middle class. Even though I was out of place. I felt I had arrived. It was where I wanted to be. The life I wanted my children to have. Eventually, discovering if we are only seeking comfort and security, Fear of the loss of those things can be a deterrent to action. Afraid to take risks necessary to further my success. The meaning of life. Sure I know it. We put way too much emphasis on being ourselves. The choice is we can be way more. Who I am is everything you see here in my writings. Humans have proved they can endure failure all of their lives. What if our philosophy is the barrier? I have found hope shining through. It is coming from our younger generations. There is an evolution in the thought process. I hope to do my best to contribute to it. Is it so important to do something of notable significance or be really successful? In appearance, I stand guard over that which is negative, or at least point it out. That I will fall on the sword or fight evil for the sake of humanity. History is full of extremely useful information, instruction, and inspiration. Most of the real thinking has already been done. There is such a need for life to grow. If oppressed, it will continue to seek a path to expand. The good is there, and evil is too. They appear to coexist. As if they need one another. That is not so. It is evil that needs a host. The same as an infection. This is not about saving you and not myself. Why would I do that? Each one of us has the power to save ourselves. What we are going for is 'herd immunity.' The more of us that find the good, the more evil will show itself.