The Watcher (ePub)

Kenneth David Brubacher was born into a large family of sort of Mennonites in Elmira,
through no fault of his own. He was encouraged to make an attempt at becoming a normal
human being, but with limited success. To the surprise of nearly everyone he graduated
from secondary school in 1970.
From there he traveled the world extensively turning his hand to many kinds of jobs and
eventually returned to Elmira having accomplished very little. He got work as a millwright
but it soon was clearly evident that he was a millwrong. After being mercifully fired from that
job he went trucking and almost immediately distinguished himself summa cum laude (with
oak leaf cluster and Silver Star) by destroying the truck.
He got married and begat two lovely daughters which took after their mother in many
wonderful ways and turned out normal. It was considered a blessing that he had no sons
because there was a high degree of probability that if he had sons the little morons would
turn out like their dad.
Knowing little about shoes and even less about feet he then took over his father's shop and
started to make shoes by hand on April Fools' Day 1978. Very few people caught on. It was
obvious that people whose feet were so bad they sought out the services of a cobbler were
not very fussy. The business prospered in spite of its inherent inadequacies.
He also applied himself to many varieties of sport, establishing a universal mediocrity in
their pursuit seldom seen. When his body was sufficiently trashed he took up umpiring
baseball where it was observed that his training must have occurred under the tender
administrations of the CNIB.
Currently he makes his home on a rented farm near Creemore and repairs a few shoes in
his small shop in Collingwood. The farmhouse will soon become a gravel pit whereupon it
was his intent to establish institutions where Mennonites could go to seek quiet enjoyment.
This, of course, until it was pointed out to him that somebody had

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