Siri, Who Am I?
A Novel
(Sprache: Englisch)
A Millennial with amnesia uses her Instagram account to piece together her identity in this hilarious and whip-smart comedy about the ups and downs of influencer culture.
Mia might look like a Millennial but she was born yesterday. Emerging from a coma...
Mia might look like a Millennial but she was born yesterday. Emerging from a coma...
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A Millennial with amnesia uses her Instagram account to piece together her identity in this hilarious and whip-smart comedy about the ups and downs of influencer culture.Mia might look like a Millennial but she was born yesterday. Emerging from a coma with short-term amnesia after an accident, Mia can't remember her own name until the Siri assistant on her iPhone provides it. Based on her cool hairstyle (undercut with glamorous waves), dress (Prada), and signature lipstick (Chanel), she senses she's wealthy, but the only way to know for sure is to retrace her steps once she leaves the hospital. Using Instagram and Uber, she arrives at the pink duplex she calls home in her posts but finds Max, a cute, off-duty postdoc supplementing his income with a house-sitting gig. He tells her the house belongs to JP, a billionaire with a chocolate empire. A few texts later, JP confirms her wildest dreams: they're in love, Mia is living the good life, and he'll be back that weekend.
But as Mia and Max work backward through her Instagram and across Los Angeles to learn more about her, they discover an ugly truth behind her perfect Instagram feed, and evidence that her head wound was no accident. Did Mia have it coming? And if so, is it too late for her to rewrite her story?
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Chapter OneIt seems as though I m the kind of person who lands in the hospital in a cocktail dress on a Tuesday night with no ID and no friends. The doctor says I ve been in a mild coma for the last two days like Peter Gallagher in While You Were Sleeping, a movie I seem to remember every word of. As for my name? No clue. All I know is that I hate my hair. Maybe it s just coma hair (medical-grade bedhead), but still. You d think they would have washed out the blood, not to mention a crust that feels like bridesmaid-level product build-up, but Brenda the day-shift nurse explains, This ain t a spa, honey. We only do blowouts on doctor s orders. And then she laughs. When she hands me an oversize cup of water a minute later, she looks at my hair like it s the first time she s noticed it and says, You know, it s actually cute. Just being nice, I think. Either that or she has no taste. I can t judge because I ve only seen her in scrubs.
The doctors say that, amnesia aside, I m mostly fine, but that doesn t seem true. I definitely feel like I almost died. I mean, I didn t see any of my dead relatives welcoming me to the other side but that proves nothing; if I can t remember who I am, I probably wouldn t recognize them either. That s probably what happened God sent Uncle So-and-So to pick me up and I just assumed he was a perv and missed the ride to heaven.
Though circumstantial, the evidence of my attempted murder is highly convincing:
Blunt force trauma to the back of the skull. (Let s hope that s why my hair looks bad.
Cocktail dress. (This should factor in, I think.)
Blood alcohol of . . . I don t know what the numbers mean, but mostly Grey Goose. Funny how I know what I drink, even if I don t know where I live. #priorities.
Someone (anon.) called an ambulance for me but didn t wait
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around to hold my hand on the
ride in.
I m just going to assume someone tried to kill me. That s what it feels like. Eight out of ten on the pain scale with a side of abandonment. If I find out I just slipped and did this to myself, I m going to be really disappointed.
Halfway through Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which I ve been binge-watching on the small TV in my hospital room ever since I woke up, my medical team walks in. They all smell like Purell, even though current research tells me they re probably mostly spreading germs. Bad hair won t be my only problem if I don t get out of this place soon. And I m pretty sure I m not even a germophobe. I have a feeling that I m really well-adjusted. Who the fuck knows, though. What does well- adjusted even mean? I might as well say that I love all kinds of music, even country. But no one loves country.
Brenda, who ordered me a special gluten-free, vegetarian meal because I just look like a vegetarian, honey, explains the facts to the neurologist, Dr. Patel. He d be attractive if he didn t look so much like a neurologist. If Queer Eye ever got their hands on him, they d get rid of his rumpled, secondhand clothes and truss him up in a sexy, fuchsia shirt and slim-fit pants in his actual size. (You are not a 34-inch waist, Dr. Patel.)
The patient can t seem to remember her name, Brenda says.
Kim, Khloé, Kourtney, Kris, Caitlyn, Kanye, Kendall, Kylie, and all the assorted babies . . . I know all of their names. But who the
ride in.
I m just going to assume someone tried to kill me. That s what it feels like. Eight out of ten on the pain scale with a side of abandonment. If I find out I just slipped and did this to myself, I m going to be really disappointed.
Halfway through Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which I ve been binge-watching on the small TV in my hospital room ever since I woke up, my medical team walks in. They all smell like Purell, even though current research tells me they re probably mostly spreading germs. Bad hair won t be my only problem if I don t get out of this place soon. And I m pretty sure I m not even a germophobe. I have a feeling that I m really well-adjusted. Who the fuck knows, though. What does well- adjusted even mean? I might as well say that I love all kinds of music, even country. But no one loves country.
Brenda, who ordered me a special gluten-free, vegetarian meal because I just look like a vegetarian, honey, explains the facts to the neurologist, Dr. Patel. He d be attractive if he didn t look so much like a neurologist. If Queer Eye ever got their hands on him, they d get rid of his rumpled, secondhand clothes and truss him up in a sexy, fuchsia shirt and slim-fit pants in his actual size. (You are not a 34-inch waist, Dr. Patel.)
The patient can t seem to remember her name, Brenda says.
Kim, Khloé, Kourtney, Kris, Caitlyn, Kanye, Kendall, Kylie, and all the assorted babies . . . I know all of their names. But who the
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Autoren-Porträt von Sam Tschida
Sam Tschida (pronounced "cheetah") is from the wilds of Minnesota, where she lives with a motley crew of kids, dogs, and one handsome man. She is the co-founder of ManuFixed, an editorial consulting company and a writing workshop that services the Twin Cities. In her spare time she runs, exercises, and watches Netflix.
Bibliographische Angaben
- Autor: Sam Tschida
- 2021, 352 Seiten, Maße: 13,5 x 20,3 cm, Kartoniert (TB), Englisch
- Verlag: Quirk Books
- ISBN-10: 1683691687
- ISBN-13: 9781683691686
- Erscheinungsdatum: 21.01.2021
Sprache:
Englisch
Pressezitat
An Amazon Best Book of January 2021One of USA Today's Best Books of 2021 So Far
One of Bustle's Most-Anticipated Books For January
One of Cosmopolitan s Best New Books Coming Out in 2021
One of POPSUGAR s Best New Books Coming Out in 2021
Indie Next and Library Reads Pick
A Fresh Fiction Fresh Pick of January 2021
Tschida took me on a wild ride in the quick read with endless turns and a happily-ever-after ending fit for a Friday night, feel-good rom-com movie. USA Today, 3.5 out of 4 star review
A fan of HBO Max's The Flight Attendant? Tschida's debut novel...is definitely for you. E! Online
[A] biting satire for the internet age. POPSUGAR
[An] uproarious debut. Bustle
Equal parts romance, mystery, and comedy....Like Christopher Nolan's Memento by way of Ingrid Goes West, Tschida's Siri, Who Am I? examines issues of identity, albeit with an irreverent comedic bent. Memphis Flyer
A strong debut that's fun and funny, perfect for lovers of modern romantic comedies and light mysteries. Kirkus Reviews
Tschida's debut is a millennial Bridget Jones's Diary meets Legally Blonde." Booklist
Fun and satisfying. This entertaining romance puts a cute twist on the genre." Publishers Weekly
This witty story checks all the boxes for readers looking for a sharp-edged, highly entertaining look at selfie culture, along with soupçon of romance. Shelf Awareness
Keen character work and a unique premise distinguish Tschida s riotously funny, remarkably assured debut...Tschida is a writer to watch. Mystery Scene
Tschida's debut is a fun, effervescent ride that explores selfie culture and how it defines us. Amnesiac Mia is fearless in how she navigates the world. You'll be hooked by the core mystery as you journey with Mia to uncover who she really is. Roselle Lim, author of Natalie Tan's Book of Luck and Fortune & Vanessa Yu's Magical Paris Teashop
Hustlers meets The Vow
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a twistier, slightly darker, millennial The Vow in this funny and entertaining women s fiction novel. Filled with hilarity, mystery and self-discovery, Siri, Who Am I? is a fun, enjoyable story that I consumed from beginning to end. Naima Simone, USA Today bestselling author of the WAGS series
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