You Deserve a Drink

Eric Michael Pearson



Modeling is tough.
To get ready for this shoot,
I didn t eat for, like, two and
a half hours.







FOREWORD

One humid summer night in Austin, Texas, Mamrie Hart and I spent an hour drunkenly arguing and openly crying on the street while wearing David Bowie and Tina Turner inspired wigs, butterfly eyelashes, and KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD tie-dyed T-shirts. Yes, we had been out at a bar dressed like that. Yes, the bartender bought us two-too-many shots. Yes, the jury s still out on whether that bartender thought we were reject prostitutes having an existential crisis. And yes, what we were actually arguing about was complete nonsense. But man did those giant orange butterfly wings superglued to Mamrie s eyelids hold up. The next morning we dragged our haggard bodies into our production van (we had been in the middle of filming a travel web series). When the crew left to get some coffee, we finally looked at each other and had this conversation:

We cool?

Yeah, we re just idiots.

Bloody Mary?

Dear God, yes.

And that was that. We were back.

That day it really hit me: A friendship with Mamrie Hart is a truly special thing. It s a friendship that, even in the seemingly difficult times, is abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous, in the best way possible. And that, plain and simple, is Mamrie s life.

We ve been friends since 2007, where we met on our first sketch comedy team, Finger (pronounced Fing-uh, because we were clearly hilarious). One of the first sketches we performed was called Party Starters, about two girls who start parties everywhere they go, even in inappropriate places (again, hilarious). But the core of that sketch has carried through to our friendship. Together we ve been globe-trotters, meeting Mexican and American wrestlers, professional bull riders, spiritual healers, one-eyed mini

Mamrie Hart is from middle-of-nowhere North Carolina. She now lives in Los Angeles with her tiny hairless dog, Beanz.

Praise for You Deserve a Drink

I loved this book. Mamrie Hart is hilariously brilliant, and really puts things in perspective with You Deserve a Drink. Specifically that I do deserve a drink. And the only person I feel like having one with right now is her. Judy Greer, actress and author of I Don t Know What You Know Me From: Confessions of a Co-Star

You know that voice you have inside that tells you not to do certain things because they are reckless, embarrassing, or socially unacceptable? Mamrie Hart does not have that voice. She does it all and tells it all in You Deserve a Drink. Rachel Dratch, SNL alum, author of Girl Walks Into a Bar

My Mom and I had Mamrie on IN BED WITH JOAN and we absolutely fell in love with her! She carries her wit in the palm of her hand, usually along with a delicious cocktail. In this book, Mamrie breaks into hilarious as easily as she drops into poignant. A girl who holds the torch for all the funny and smart ladies out there! Melissa Rivers

This book is way better than my book. Hannah Hart, New York Times bestselling author of My Drunk Kitchen

You Deserve a Drink is like a night out with Mamrie Hart: charmingly weird & hilariously memorable. All that s missing is the hangover. Tyler Oakley, Youtube star 

Lowbrow/Brilliant NY Magazine's Approval Matrix

An entirely hilarious read that will delight her current fans...and entice new readers who have enjoyed recent books by other humor heavy-hitters (Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling). SheKnows.com

Sassy, foul-mouthed, funny and fearless...I like this book so much I can t decide whom to loan it to first. Raleigh News & Observer